death of my grandfather and the effect it had on me

a few years ago i'd suffered a tragedy. i'd lost my grandfather. i'd told him about my sermon the week before. when we learned about him being in the hospital, i'd gotten a blessing the night before. literally, the next day we'd recieved the call that grandpa was in the hospital. there were a few things that weren't automatically thinking he's in the hospital. 1) a week or so before we'd had thanksgiving and my grandfather had been with us 2) we'd had a birthday for my brother and 3) we thought he'd been with our paternal uncle. once we learned about that fact in our grandfather had been in the hospital i'd been begged to offer our grandfather a religious ritual. i was queasy as i was not intrested in getting in trouble. i'd caved as i was wondering on if i could get something. while my uncle said no we still honored him with food. when i was upset over it i'd been dragged to church in order to help calm me down. i'd actually held it together for 3 hours, after which i'd broke down and cried and told people about my grandfather. luckily i was let off and i'd been wanting to get away and cry. i'd transferred back to my main parish and everyone freaked. a year later i'd transfered back as a way to comfort my friends during the holiday season as they'd lost a family member and i'd understood what they were going thru.